AZURESANDS & OUTER - "Wellspring Beverage LLC"
This split between Azuresands and Outer has me reeling. Ignore the tracklist - this is one continuous musical piece that will take you from point A to point B via point Z.
Without doing any real research at all, and only going by what I hear, this tape is all about the following:
After a long day at the office, 5pm arrives triumphantly. You power through the streets in a high-class sedan, fleeing the oppressive bleakness of the city. Arriving at your suburban home, you sink onto a comfortable armchair with a martini as moving shadows turn to nightfall.
Your peaceful rest is interrupted by what sounds like smooth jazz being played too loud by the neighbors. As the rigors of the day have eroded your tolerance for such matters, you head next door to confront the neighbors about the noise. They are a friendly elderly couple out by their pool with a radio blaring soft, soothing music at full volume. You hesitate to confront them about their tunes because of their nice smiling faces, and they offer you a drink.
The effects of the drug wear off, and you find yourself bound and gagged aboard a small helicopter, having been abducted by your 'friendly' neighbors. The helicopter lands on a small tropical island, and you are allowed to go free. Your neighbors laughingly refuse to explain why they have kidnapped you and brought you here and disappear into a nearby grass-thatched building. You angrily follow them inside, but the bar is packed with elderly people enjoying fruity tropical beverages, and dancing to some hot, vintage, 80s sounds.
You see the laid-back, grinning bartender and demand to know where you are. He tells you that you are now at a private resort island owned by the Wellspring Beverage company. After several failed attempts to find a working phone, you sit down in the sand, dejected. A strange tattooed man arrives on a jet ski and asks you why you look so sad. You explain your abduction to him - the whole sad story - how they took your phone, keys, ID, and even your shoes.
"You have been brought to a private party island, it's a beautiful night, you've got your toes in the sand - and you're still unhappy? You've got a lot worse problems than being abducted, my friend."
You realize there is nothing left to do but embrace it, and you party the night away.