Alternate Bio

Artist Bio - Christian Mayhem


Christian Mayhem

Born in a broken down Chevy Impala on cinco de mayo, in a dusty alleyway of the squalid nontropolis, Woodstock, Illinois, Christian Mayhem was just like all the other kids at Lower Woodstock Secondary Prepatory Academy for Gifted Childrens except that his parents had both died under strange and mysterious circumstances that remain unsolved in the McHenry county records.

His father, Paul Mayhem, a jet test pilot, vanished on a hiking trip in a forested area down a lonely stretch of road leading out of town, while his mother, Captain April Mayhem never returned during a routine orbital flight of Space Shuttle Berenstien. (The disappearance of this shuttle resulted in a massive government cover-up in which all mention of the space shuttle and its flight have been removed. The far-reaching conspiracy even changed the last names of several families and the titles of several popular children's books.) Due to multiple loopholes in family law, Christian continued living alone and unsupervised in the Mayhem home, slowly becoming radicalized in his teens by underground electronic music, harsh noise and bizarro culture.

Relying on a massive array of potato batteries to operate sound equipment due to electric service cancellation, Mayhem continues to create dissonant hymns of abandonment and despair, interspersed with found object epemera and wailing walls of crushing, cascading noise.


Though it was rumored that Christian made an unwitting appearance in the 1993 film, Groundhog Day, when Bill Murray walks past a woman holding an infant, it has been established that the Mayhem family was on a out of town trip during the filming of the movie.